Welcome to Hickstead, home to both Seven Oak Stables, and Blue Acre - two rival stables. Both offer opportunities for their clients to reach the highest level of excellence. Each stable differs from the other, so choose wisely and never forget, loyalty is everything... Meanwhile as the stables battle it out, there's trouble brewing at the university. Be careful, if you don't pick a side you may get caught in the cross-fire...
This is an chilled out rpg with a super friendly and relaxed atmosphere! Remember to sign up with your characters full name in all caps and don't forget to do your claims! Thank you and Welcome, we've been established since 10th March 2009 but unfortunately have had to close guest view of our boards due to multiple sites ripping off our hard work, such a shame! Come chat to us in Discord before joining if you like!.
Joel wasn't sure why he'd agreed to dinner with Lani. Well he did know why - because it was Lani, and the part in him that was still awake, alive and kicking wanted to see her, but it was more the 'going outside' and 'eating' parts that he didn't know why he'd say yes to. Actually another lie - he knew why he hadn't just asked her to come over too. There were other options he could have suggested instead of food, but none of them seemed more appealing anyway. Drinking was very appealing, but if she watched him throw back glass after glass of whiskey she'd probably think something was wrong, and then he'd begin to slur his words and then God knows what words would even come out. Words he probably didn't want her to hear. He could have suggested climbing, but his heart wasn't in it. He hadn't touched his ropes since he'd returned. Part of that was because they reminded him too much of being tied up, and he hated that. Despised how something he had loved now became a fear. Fear to touch the rope, God he was ridiculous.
Food was the easiest option, he just wasn't much up to eating and he knew he was going to waste whatever it was he ordered. Perhaps if he made sure it was something of a small portion, it wouldn't look so bad. He hated wasting things, especially now that he'd known what it was like to be truly hungry, but he had no appetite for it. It suddenly felt too lavish, too absurd, for there to be so much food here, for it to just be available when he had gone days without a scrap, days with having to portion control something that wasn't even a portion to begin with. He'd figure something out.
He'd tried to look presentable but it was hard to care. The only reason he'd tried was for Lani. She didn't deserve some pathetic loser who looked like he lived off the streets. He had managed to get in the shower today. The first time in some days. It had been painful and slow but he'd done it. He hadn't managed to shave, he couldn't stand to look in the mirror at what he'd become - still bruised and pale, his cheeks hollow and his eyes accompanied by bags. He shoved on a hoodie and joggers - he looked at his jeans but he couldn't bare to pick them up. He found himself a booth right at the back but sat facing the door, unable to help but watch the room warily as if someone was about to come steal his crutches.
Lani smiled as she danced around the dorm as she got ready to go out. She was probably a little more excited about going out than she should be, but she was going out with Joel, and she was happy to be seeing him.
She frowned as she looked at the limited choice of clothing she had, and her frown deepened as she tried to work out how to make anything she had look like she wasn't about to head out to the barn, or go running. "What to wear? What to wear?" She muttered as she pulled out something and quickly discarded it, the pile on her bed quickly grew, until she had to go through that pile until she had a tidy pair of skinny jeans and a red jersey. And then headed back to the bathroom to put on her makeup, enough to cover the scar above her eyebrow, and to add colour to her cheeks and lips, not so much to look like she was trying to hide something.
Arriving at the pizza place, she paused long enough to take in a deep breath, and try not to look like she'd been working since the sun had come up. Pushing the door open, she walked in, her eyes sweeping the place before they landed on Joel and with a smile approached the table he was sitting at. "Hey." She greeted. She knew that most people would inquire about how the other person was, but she knew from experience that the words 'how are you' got to be grating after a while.
He started to get a little fidgety as he waited - he was a little early, so it wasn't like Lani was late, but he felt twitchy being in public. Even if his back corner and able to see everyone, he couldn't help but keep looking from face to face, cataloguing their movements and whether they were a threat. No matter how many times he reminded himself that nobody was the enemy, he couldn't help but do it anyway. His hands curled into tight fists, fighting off the urge to get up and leave. It was a quieter time than others but it still felt busy - close and loud, the heat seemed intense and he started to sweat, beads trickling down the back of his neck.
"Hey." Finally, thank God. He let out a relieved breath to see her approach and stood up on instinct to greet her. "Hey," He said, the word a little croaky. Joel cleared his throat and indicated to the seat opposite, returning to his after a moment. He left his hood up, though in the back of his mind he knew that was impolite, but it felt like an extra layer of protection. Things seemed a little easier with Lani here though - like they were in their own bubble. It was still busy and loud, but just a bit dimmer, as if she drew his attention and helped him focus. "Thanks for meeting me," gross, how formal was that? He struggled to find something funny or witty to say, for once drawing a complete blank and floundering. In a panic, he grabbed the menu. "Uh, drinks? You want a drink?"
"Hey," Lani gave a warm smile as she slid into the seat he had indicated to, straightening out her top as he sat to make sure it was sitting properly. "Thanks for meeting me," She grinned. "Wild horses couldn't have kept me away." And she meant that too... or was that say too American? She didn't think this area was known for its wild horses. She gave herself a mental shake to get out of her own head. "Uh, drinks? You want a drink?" She pursed her lips in thought. "Can I get a sparkling water, please?"
She studied him for a moment. A lot had changed since he'd left and returned, even since his return he had changed, and it worried her. While she hadn't wanted the first thing she said to him when she arrive was to inquire about his health, but she really did want to know. "How are things?" She asked softly, deciding to make the question more open, rather than it just being about his well-being.
He couldn't lie, Lani's smile helped to warm something in him a little bit. He wished it could heal all the terrible things inside him, but it was going to take some time to do that. Perhaps if he saw Lani enough, she would warm all the cold and dark places he now had. He wasn't used to them, he'd never been someone to reflect enough on the shitty things in life to leave behind dark and scary corners, he'd always accepted the bad and moved on, but now he was stuck living in it, of groping his way through this gloomy swamp with no idea of how to get out before he drowned. "Wild horses couldn't have kept me away." He managed a ghost of a smile at that, "do we have many wild horses around here?" He asked, a little curiously. It was the kind of thing he used to go looking for when hiking, it was sort of how he'd found Cosmo, and then the horse had stuck with him like they were their own herd.
At least she didn't seem to mind his fumble, or comment on it. "Can I get a sparkling water, please?" He managed to pull a face at that in a joking manner. "You're a sparkling water drinker?" He asked, looking slightly horrified, "one of those people? I had no idea. Oh no, this is never going to work..." He teased, a sliver of his usual humour returning. "How are things?" Well that sobered him up pretty quick and he looked away from her, studying the room for a moment before he nodded, an unusually fake expression sliding into place. "I'm fine," He lied. It felt almost too easy, sliding off his tongue like tar. The thing was, Joel didn't do lying. He might have played around a lot, and said stupid things but he was generally a truth teller, and he wore his heart and his emotions on his sleeve, so rarely hiding them away. "But we don't want to talk about me, very boring same old same old... how are you?"
"do we have many wild horses around here?" Lani couldn't help but laugh as he voiced her internal question. "I was wondering the same thing. The answer to which, I wouldn't have a clue - which probably means I haven't done enough exploring."
"You're a sparkling water drinker?" She rolled her eyes. "one of those people? I had no idea. Oh no, this is never going to work..." She stuck her tongue out at him. "As much as I would like something stronger, I can't." Well, she probably could, but had been advised not to until she had finished her antibiotics, not that she was going to tell him that though. Joel had enough on his plate than to worry that she hadn't been well.
She knew she had said the wrong thing when she'd asked how he was, she could see it on his face. "I'm fine," and hear it in his tone, no matter what he was trying to show the world, it was all over him that he wasn't as fine as he was making out to be. "But we don't want to talk about me, very boring same old same old... how are you?" She gave him a cheeky grin. "Old, is the last word I'd use to describe you." She pressed her lips together as she thought about how to answer his question. "Things have been busy. Someone bought the ranch, so there have been a few changes, still don't know what I think of the boss lady, but I still have a job, so I can't complain. I now have my GED... no, sorry, my GCSE, and I'm doing a photography course through correspondence, so I scoop poop during the day and I'm a student by night."
"I was wondering the same thing. The answer to which, I wouldn't have a clue - which probably means I haven't done enough exploring." Joel smiled at that, "Then I think you've got more exploring to do," which was exactly the kind of thing he would encourage and usually join her on, but he wasn't good at leaving the flat and being sociable at the moment, and he couldn't quite get the words out. If there were wild horses out in England somewhere, he hoped they were truly free. It wasn't quite like America or Australia, there wasn't as much space, or as much free green space especially, and so there were only a few areas they would likely be. Maybe he could look into it at some point, if only to give him something to focus on that was for Lani.
His lips twitched as she poked her tongue out at him. "How childish," he teased, as if he wasn't just as immature himself. "As much as I would like something stronger, I can't." He scrunched his nose, "like still water?" He asked, raising a brow - still teasing. "It just tastes like static to me, like what pins and needles feel like." Joel added, mocking a shudder.
"Old, is the last word I'd use to describe you." Joel gave a quiet laugh, though it didn't quite match his usual carefree laughter. At least it was something. "And what's the first word? Handsome? Charming?"Broken? Sad? Miserable? He kept those to himself, churning out the kinds of things he used to think of himself, the things he used to feel. "Things have been busy. Someone bought the ranch, so there have been a few changes, still don't know what I think of the boss lady, but I still have a job, so I can't complain. I now have my GED... no, sorry, my GCSE, and I'm doing a photography course through correspondence, so I scoop poop during the day and I'm a student by night." Joel raised his brows slightly, "A change of hands is always difficult to process, but at least if they're keeping you on, that's a good sign. No mention of 're structuring?'" He asked curiously, knowing how much Lani enjoyed her job and hoping that wouldn't change. "Congratulations on your GCSE, you sound like you're busy. You're taking care of yourself, right?" What an ironic thing to say given his own state. He could have rolled his eyes at himself.
"Then I think you've got more exploring to do," Lani grinned and nodded. "That's very true." She nodded again. "A tour guide would be handy, or at least some company." Plus, having another person with her would mean that she would have someone else to carry some extra stuff - like food.
"How childish," She gave him an angelic smile and then laughed. "Naturally." Being mature was so overrated, and life was too short to be sensible all the time. "like still water?" She pulled a face. "It just tastes like static to me, like what pins and needles feel like." She laughed. "Well, that's one way of describing it. A good description too."
"And what's the first word? Handsome? Charming?"Mine? She grinned and nodded. "I'd add sweet to that list too." She needed to get him out of the hole he was stuck in, but needed a way to do it where it was his idea. "A change of hands is always difficult to process, but at least if they're keeping you on, that's a good sign. No mention of 're structuring?'" She pulled a face and shook her head. "Not yet, anyway." And god only knows where she would go if she lost her job at the ranch. "Congratulations on your GCSE, you sound like you're busy. You're taking care of yourself, right?" She beamed, it felt good to finally be a high school graduate, her parents would be so proud. Her nose scrunched up at the question and she shrugged. "Busy is good." She said instead, her version of pleading the fifth. "It keeps me out of trouble. Does tend to stop me from getting out an exploring though." She pouted. "I think my camera is feeling a little neglected, because the stuff I have to do for my course is a little more vanilla than I'm used to." And if she went climbing, she really did need another set of hands, or eyes. "I do need to go and get some sunrise photos for an assignment, so that should be fun." Though she'd need to fit that into her days off, which she hardly ever actually took.
"That's very true. A tour guide would be handy, or at least some company." He smiled at that, company was always nice - especially when it was with Lani. The idea of going exploring was a wistful one - days when he used to fit his whole world into a backpack and disappear into the 'where ever' without so much as a backwards glance. It was funny, how the urge to do that had slowly diminished over the years. He still liked to explore and go on hikes and see things, but his heart was now firmly planted in Hickstead with these friends and family he hadn't had before, and whenever he went, a string always tugged him back eventually. With Lani with him though, he wondered if that urge might settle - wondered if his heart was now tied to her instead and that he'd only feel that tug when there was distance between them. Highly likely given that was how he had felt being in war. "I could provide some company - it would be questionable at best, but I have a compass and an excellent sense of humour." He offered with a small smile.
"Naturally." He winked at her for that. He pretended to be offended by her laughing at him. "Well, that's one way of describing it. A good description too." He looked her up and down, "I'm seeing you in a whole new light now." He teased, despite the small element of truth - the only way he saw her in a new light was just that she was his saviour, his light in the dark, his only good thing to keep him from drowning right now. "I'd add sweet to that list too." He pulled a face, "oh no, that's like a fake compliment... like when you call someone 'bubbly'." He countered, though he didn't really mind being 'sweet'. It didn't feel true after where he'd been the last few weeks.
He was glad to see her shake her head - no re-structuring was definitely a good start. People always came in wanted to 'make their mark' when really, things were running smooth and they didn't need to uproot. "Not yet, anyway." His smile warmed at her beam, she had such a great bloody smile. "Busy is good." A slight raise of a brow, expecting her to continue. "It keeps me out of trouble. Does tend to stop me from getting out an exploring though. I think my camera is feeling a little neglected, because the stuff I have to do for my course is a little more vanilla than I'm used to." At that, his second eyebrow rose to join his first. "Vanilla? I thought you shot scenery and stuff, you're starting to make it sound a little... sexual," He joked, "I'd still like to see them though, even if they are a little... missionary," He hoped he hadn't overstepped the line there, but he found himself actually having a little fun. "I do need to go and get some sunrise photos for an assignment, so that should be fun." Joel gave a small nod, feeling guilty that he couldn't offer to go climbing with her right now to get the best shots - he knew the perfect place too, but it would have to wait. Aside from the injuries, he didn't know if he'd even be able to climb as well when he was healed, and the motivation to do it was far from there. "What's the assignment about?" He asked, wanting to say he'd come to the sunrises with her but worried about letting her down if he couldn't get out of bed or a foot out the door.
Lani had always had a problem of asking forgiveness rather than permission. Flying by the seat of her pants was her MO, it's how she had ended up here, rather than at her grandparents', but this was home now, and she no longer had any intention of flying off again. "I could provide some company - it would be questionable at best, but I have a compass and an excellent sense of humour." She grinned. "The compass would come in handy, I haven't been known for having the best sense of direction." She could guesstimate the time from where the sun was in the sky, so her sense of direction couldn't be too bad. "And an excellent sense of humour always comes in handy when you've thrown caution to the wind." Or, in layman's terms, got lost.
She could feel her cheeks heat up when he winked and she sucked her head, as it felt like a very girlish thing to do, and she should be more mature than that. "I'm seeing you in a whole new light now." Her brows shot up as she sat up a little straighter and looked down at herself, as though she could see what he was talking about. "oh no, that's like a fake compliment... like when you call someone 'bubbly'." Her bottom lip jutted out in a pout, thinking of all the times that guys at school had called her bubbly, though shrugged off the thought. "It was an adjective, not a compliment." She quipped as she stuck her tongue out at him.
"Vanilla? I thought you shot scenery and stuff, you're starting to make it sound a little... sexual," She burst out laughing, and clapped a hand over her mouth, yeah, she was really mature. "I'd still like to see them though, even if they are a little... missionary," She huffed out a breath, doing her best to stop her giggles. "Vanilla, as in boring, plain, no fillers, like vanilla ice cream." She shook her head as she laughed again. Okay, sure, she photographed scenery all the time, some quite boring, but nothing from the course so far had asked her to do anything more than normal. "What's the assignment about?" She shrugged, wondering if her sunrise idea was a little more out there than the assignment called for. "The assignment is about new beginnings." She shrugged again. "I like to think that every time the sun comes up, we get a chance to try again. It's a new day, so it offers us a chance to start again. So, I was thinking of heading to the beach with all my gear and watching the sun come up." And she'd be home in time to start barn chores.
His world lit up just a little bit more with her smile. "The compass would come in handy, I haven't been known for having the best sense of direction." Joel gave her a warning look, "Mmmm that much is evident, falling in with me - terrible sense of direction." He joked, even if a large part of him believed that. He wasn't good for her, especially not now, and she was falling into the path of a wayward lost soul, unsure where he now needed to go to get out of the dark. Even before all this darkness, he'd known he wasn't the best person - too easy distracted, too easily led astray by his own interests and mind and then he was gone without warning, returning on a whim without always thinking about people's feelings or the consequences... but now? Now he was stuck in some depressive lost space he didn't know he'd ever get out of. "And an excellent sense of humour always comes in handy when you've thrown caution to the wind." Joel managed a ghost of a smile, "Finally, something I'm good for."
He was a little delighted in the blush, even his dampened self could feel an accomplishment for that. "It was an adjective, not a compliment." Joel wrinkled his nose then shrugged it off, "guess I'll have to work harder for a compliment then," He mused, distracted from his thoughts before they could take him too far down a rabbit hole by her burst of laughter, a laugh of his own joining in - much to his surprise. He couldn't lie, but Lani was really just quite stunning when she laughed like that - completely natural. "Vanilla, as in boring, plain, no fillers, like vanilla ice cream." Joel pressed his lips together to avoid making another sexual related comment, and then allowed himself to say one thing, "So what if Vanilla is my favourite, am I boring?" He was teasing, because it was his go to, and vanilla was not his favourite.
"The assignment is about new beginnings." Ah well wasn't that some kind of irony right now. Lot's of 'new' for Joel, and his days were dawning darker than he was used to, it felt more like he was in the beginning of an apocalypse than a whole new bright world. He knew he should be grateful for being saved, and he was, but feelings were confusing and complicated, and there was a whole lot of other things wrapped up in that like guilt, anger, frustration, disappointment - a lot of that also aimed at himself, not his friends - and a lot of bleak, of hopelessness, a lot of stuff of wadded up in a ball he wasn't ready to unpack. "I like to think that every time the sun comes up, we get a chance to try again. It's a new day, so it offers us a chance to start again. So, I was thinking of heading to the beach with all my gear and watching the sun come up." Joel gave a small smile, letting her words wash over him to calm the storm that he'd been driving up, settling the anxious feelings he'd been trying to suppress. "That's a nice way to think about things," After all, the sun coming up every day was just about physics, but sometimes it was about the meaning behind the action. "Let me know when you do it, if you don't mind company for it."
"Mmmm that much is evident, falling in with me - terrible sense of direction." Lani's brows rose in question, and she shook her head. "I think that when I met you, my compass started working again." She shrugged, feeling the blush hit her cheeks, knowing the the words were corny when she heard them; but this man was her true north, even if it took him going away for her to work this out. "Finally, something I'm good for." She gave an impish grin. "We all have to be good at something."
The sound of his laughter warmed her, and Lani was pleased to hear him laugh, even if it was at her expense because her mind refused to grow up. "So what if Vanilla is my favourite, am I boring?" She tapped finger against her lips as she pretended to give the question serious thought. "There is nothing wrong with vanilla ice cream." She replied with a cheeky grin. "It means you can add any flavor and toppings you want, and not have to worry about the flavours not going together."
She watched his face as she spoke, as the small nuances spoke louder than any word could, and after the car accident with her parents, she had learned to pay attention to them, as they were often her only cue to flee when her father was having a bad day. "That's a nice way to think about things," She smiled and shrugged with an impish grin. "There's that tiny part of me that still believes that there is treasure to be found at the end of a rainbow." Even when the adult part of her knew that rainbows were nothing more than light and water. "Let me know when you do it, if you don't mind company for it." She grinned and nodded, stopping before she took on the look of a bobble-headed toy. "I'd love the company!" She said. "And a second opinion on venues would be good too. Plus, having someone to help carry my bags would be a big help too." For what she wanted to accomplish, she'd need to take a few lenses, cards, battery packs and snacks, so it would mean needing to carry more than just her basic backpack
"I think that when I met you, my compass started working again." Joel's eyebrows rose slowly in surprise at how sweet the words were and for once in his life, he was a little stumped for a response, his hand rubbing the back of his neck. "Well that's very kind, i hope your compass isn't broken," and the jokes returned. He could do sweet and he could do romantic, but he'd never had a solid long term relationship that went past the surface. This was new territory for him, uncharted waters, and he wasn't afraid, he was just figuring out how to navigate when he was in this kind of odd, murky head space. "We all have to be good at something." He gave her an acknowledging nod. That he could agree with - he'd met enough people over the years. "Even if it's canon fodder," he said quietly. He'd meant it as a joke, genuinely.. but the second the words were out of his mouth he regretted it - regretted the truth of it. After all, he'd chosen to go in Dustin's place because he felt Dustin was worth more as a life than he was. He regretted it because he could hear the sound of gunfire in his ears, and his head.
"There is nothing wrong with vanilla ice cream." His smile returned, glad to know it wasn't totally off putting if he liked the simple flavours in life. He wanted to comment that it didn't make him boring in the bedroom, but he didn't have the heart. He wasn't ready for that. "It means you can add any flavor and toppings you want, and not have to worry about the flavours not going together." He put a finger to his nose lightly, "exactly, you get it! Even that chocolate sauce stuff that goes hard when you add it to the ice cream.. never understood how that worked though." He admitted, having been obsessed with it as a kid, much to his mother's warning of too much sugar.
He glanced at the forgotten menu for a moment, wondering if he should go up to the counter to order something, but perfectly happy to sit here with her instead. He didn't really want to draw attention to himself with his casts and crutches, he was already getting enough looks that made him want to pull the hood up on his jumper. Lani was the only thing tethering him to reality. "There's that tiny part of me that still believes that there is treasure to be found at the end of a rainbow." Joel's smile was soft, "I think that's a good thing. It's a bleak old world if you stop dreaming," and he liked that she still looked for gold at the end of a rainbow, it was a little bit of light at the end of a dark tunnel. "I'd love the company!" He smiled again - damn his face almost hurt from all the smiling, it had been that long. "And a second opinion on venues would be good too. Plus, having someone to help carry my bags would be a big help too." He gave a knowing nod. "Ah so I see, I'm the pack donkey, huh? I get it."
